Tips for Managing Holiday Grief with Infertility and Loss
The holidays have a way of exacerbating grief. It’s a really hard time of year for many people and feelings of grief can feel more intense when coping with infertility and loss. Whether this is your first holiday or third, every year can be challenging. Managing holiday grief with infertility and loss is a common challenge for many people on this journey.
So how does one manage holiday grief when the world around you seems to be buzzing with joy, laughter and excitement?
Tips for Managing Holiday Grief with Infertility and Loss
Befriend your body
The body is wise and is the place where we store trauma. It’s also the place where trauma can be released. Movement of the body is a great way to take care of yourself, manage your stress and regulate your nervous system. Dealing with infertility can make you feel like you’ve lost control of your body. Moving your body in intentional ways can help you regain a sense of control over your body in ways that feel good to you.
Limit the number of commitments you make
Limits are good for everyone so don’t hesitate to have them. Overcommitting yourself can create more stress and anxiety. Just like it’s important to have boundaries with others, it’s also important to have boundaries with ourselves.
Participate in as much or as little as you like
You can participate in as much or as little as you like. Let your wise self be your guide in making the decisions that feel right for you. Feelings of guilt from saying no might arise and that’s okay. Feeling guilty doesn’t mean you’ve made a bad choice and need to choose something different.
Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the elephant in the room
Grief cannot be eradicated; it can only be experienced. It’s okay to acknowledge and share with others that this season of life is hard for you. If you’ve had a recent loss, don’t minimize it to make others comfortable. Masking grief only makes it harder and causes more suffering.
Find creative ways to blend old traditions with new ones
Finding a new normal after loss can be challenging. It can be healing to blend old traditions with new ones. Integrating the old into the new can be a source of comfort for many people.
Do something you’ve never done before but always wanted to to do
Be especially kind to yourself. Try something new you have been wanting to do but have been putting off. Find and create micromoments of joy and lean into it.
Keep things consistent
Infertility can bring a lot of unpredictability and the stress of infertility is cumulative. It’s important to keep things simple and consistent to create reassurance and predictability in your life. Keep your routines intact and don’t let the stress of the holidays sway you away from the things that help to keep you grounded by creating structure and consistency for you.
This journey is yours so make it your own. Make it something that you can feel good about because you deserve good things. Use these tips for managing holiday grief with infertility and loss so you can arm yourself with useful strategies, build resiliency and be well this season.
