It’s the start of a new year and for many people it symbolizes a time to reflect and set new goals for the year ahead. I’ve also been reflecting on my work in my practice and saw some major themes with my clients in 2023.
One in particular stood out and that was self care. I had countless sessions centered around self care and implementing sustainable practices to help my clients care for themselves well.
There’s no relationship more important than the one with self so I was really happy to see so many people wanting to make this a priority in our work together. Because it’s such an important relationship, it requires ongoing work to ensure that we are moving through the world in the healthiest way possible. Having a healthy relationship with self lends itself to having healthy relationships with others.
A key component of having a healthy relationship with one’s self is the practice of self repair. All relationships involve a series of rupture and repair. A rupture is anything that creates disconnection (an argument, criticism, hurtful comment, etc). So when a conflict occurs, there has been a relationship rupture. To effectively resolve the conflict, a repair needs to happen.
Repair is the heartbeat of good self care. Whenever there has been a rupture in relation to oneself, making a repair is how you can recover and heal that rupture. Think of a time when you made a mistake or didn’t handle something as well as you wanted to. If you responded with negative self-talk and berated yourself for what you did or didn’t do, a self rupture has occurred. Anytime the self narrative involves shaming one’s self, you can consider this to be a relationship rupture. In any relationship that you value, you would want to make a repair after a rupture happens. To keep the relationship intact and whole, a repair is necessary. Repairs promote growth, acceptance, love, understanding, affirmation and validation. All healthy things to have in any relationship including the one with yourself.
Ruptures are opportunities to strengthen your relationship with yourself. So when they do happen, and it likely will because no relationship is problem free, you can always choose to repair. Here’s to making frequent repairs and continuing to prioritize self care.
If working on your relationship with yourself is something that interests you and you’re ready to do, feel free to contact me.