5 Things You Should Know About Pregnancy After Loss

Becoming pregnant after loss is complicated. The decision to conceive again after unimaginable pain and loss isn’t easy. If you’ve never been through it, it’s hard to imagine and understand what it’s like for someone walking through pregnancy after loss.

In an effort to raise awareness about this often overlooked and misunderstood experience, here are some things you should know about pregnancy after loss.

1) It takes courage to be pregnant after losing a baby.
Enduring the pain that comes with such unique loss is one thing. Finding the strength and courage to live with that pain is another. Courage is having fear, being aware of the risks and making the conscious decision to do the fearful thing anyway. Facing pregnancy after loss is a courageous act.

2) It’s normal to feel more fear than excitement.
Fear can feel all-consuming and all-encompassing during pregnancy after loss. The fear you feel is valid. Statistically we know that women who have experienced pregnancy loss are 4x more likely to develop symptoms of depression and 7x more likely to develop symptoms of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). You deserve support during this time from family, friends and your care providers.

3) A new baby doesn’t replace the one that’s no longer here.
A new baby doesn’t negate the loss of another. Multiple things can be true here. You can feel joy and hope for a new baby while still grieving the loss of another baby. Holding space for seemingly opposing emotions is what makes pregnancy after loss so difficult. Give yourself lots of grace as you try your best to manage these mixed feelings.

4) There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate your new pregnancy.
There really are no rules, only the ones you create for yourself. If making an announcement, having a gender reveal, a baby shower and other things that perhaps you did before or maybe never got to do feels right, then go for it. If that doesn’t feel right for you, you don’t have to do any of those things. You can choose how you walk through this very delicate time for you. You can celebrate out loud or keep things more private. There is no right or wrong way. There’s only your way and you have the power to choose.

5) Grieving the loss of innocence you once had is normal.
After a pregnancy loss, you recognize how many assumptions you once carried about pregnancy. You now know the painful reality that being pregnant has no guarantees. Simply knowing you can conceive again isn’t enough to put you at ease. Being pregnant

doesn’t guarantee a live birth. Your narrative changes from “when” to “if”. Perhaps it now sounds like “if” you bring the baby home instead of “when.” It’s okay to be cautious as you await what lies ahead for you.

If your pregnancy after loss is a mix of overwhelming feelings of guilt, grief, sadness, anger or anxiety, I can help you with developing tools to manage these emotions and find more moments of ease as you await your rainbow after the storm.

Kerri-Anne Brown

Kerri-Anne Brown

Hi, I'm Kerri-Anne and I'm a licensed mental health counselor in Orlando, FL. I help individuals and couples who are living with fertility challenges, perinatal loss, birth trauma and difficulties with postpartum adjustments. Please feel free to reach out anytime.

Leave a Comment